Posted by: Mr. Graber
Every two weeks I will be posting a section from this article here on Inside Bodine. I think you will find it quite interesting. It is a wonderful piece on life success for students with learning disabilities. It originally appeared on LD online.
Below are the schedule of the postings and the third installment:
September 6: introduction
September 21: self-awareness
October 5: proactivity
October 19: perseverance
November 2: goal-setting
November 16: presence and use of support systems
November 30: emotional coping strategies
December 14: conclusion and resources
Successful adults with learning disabilities are generally actively engaged in the world around them -- politically, economically, and socially. They participate in community activities and take an active role in their families, neighborhoods, and friendship groups. Additionally, they often step into leadership roles at work, in the community, and in social and family settings.
Not surprisingly, therefore, successful persons with learning disabilities also believe that they have the power to control their own destiny and affect the outcome of their lives. In talking about how he took charge of his college experience, one successful adult remarks:
"I actually didn't take classes as much as I took professors. The way I got through college was I looked at the classes I was interested in and I was over at the professors' office times telling them I'm going to need extra time; give me the ability to take the written exam orally. There are a bunch of exceptions and I just listed them out for these people."
This quote demonstrates the kind of creative self-advocacy and initiative we frequently observed in successful adults. In contrast, unsuccessful individuals tend merely to respond to events and are passive.
Successful persons with learning disabilities also show the ability to make decisions and act upon those decisions. Additionally, they assume responsibility for their actions and resulting outcomes. In talking about how his shyness interfered with trying to meet a girl, one successful adult shares:
"I looked at that lesson and said, 'OK, you blew it that time. What are you going to do? How are you going to overcome that situation?' So I systematically started working on getting over my shyness…And last spring…"
When things don't work out, successful individuals generally take responsibility for the outcome and do not blame others. Commenting on his career, the same individual expresses commitment to action, "Anything I'm going to do, I'm going to give it my all. Otherwise I'm not going to touch it."
A willingness to consult with others while making decisions is also characteristic of successful people with learning disabilities. In that connection, they also appear to be flexible in considering and weighing options. For instance, when faced with a career-ending knee surgery, one successful athlete was able to smoothly shift her career focus to a pottery business. Another individual whose learning disability prevented him from passing required college courses, researched and transferred to a university that did not require those courses for graduation.
In contrast, unsuccessful individuals often do not recognize that situations can be altered, or that multiple solutions may exist. Instead, they are either passive, making no decision, or conversely, stick rigidly to a simplistic, rule-based decision even if it ultimately fails. Successful individuals, on the other hand, take responsibility for both the positive and negative outcomes of their decisions and actions. For example, one former student commenting on his success stated:
"I think that I worked hard and I made choices instead of letting things happen. I mean stuff that I haven't actively gone and taken care of are the only things that I'm not as satisfied with. The stuff that I've gone and taken care of, I'm very happy with.
Proactivity Checklist
My child…
Participates in classroom and extra-curricular social activities
Makes decisions and acts upon those decisions
Understands the advantages/disadvantages of making certain decisions
Recognizes when a decision needs to be made
Knows how to evaluate decisions
Takes responsibility for his/her actions
Feels he/she has control over his/her world
Is assertive and stands up for him/herself
Is self-confident
There is life beyond school for children with learning disabilities. While learning to be proactive in educational pursuits is important, persons with learning disabilities also need to develop the attribute of proactivity for social, employment, interpersonal, familial, and recreational settings. With regard to each of these settings, children with learning disabilities need to learn to:
Understand proactivity, its importance, and benefits;
Make decisions, act upon those decisions, and evaluate their decisions;
Understand the advantages and disadvantages of making certain decisions and take responsibility for their actions;
Act as self-advocates and be assertive while engaging in the world;
Develop the self-confidence to take risks and be flexible.
General activities for fostering proactivity:
Introduce problem-solving vocabulary into your family discussions. Share your personal challenges and dilemmas and what strategies you have employed. Present your child with examples of people facing problems, and have your child discuss or role-play action-oriented strategies for resolving these difficulties.
Have your child write down or discuss important decisions he or she has made, the strategies used to make the decisions, the results of those decisions, and whether or not the correct decision was made.
Present your child with examples of people's behavior and the specific outcomes resulting from the behavior. Then discuss the extent to which the individual had control over his or her behaviors.
Present your child with a number of "risky" scenarios and discuss the possible consequences of specific actions.
